Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
