fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
