I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
