Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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