I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
