Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just want to make out with him forever
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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