I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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