How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
