I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
