I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
