You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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