They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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