Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
