I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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