I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
