we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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