So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
