everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
