Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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