that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
