omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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