I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
