I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
