scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
