All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
