I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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