Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
