you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Please, let me fuck your mom
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I need water and some morals
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
