Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
