my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
