Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Couch. On fire.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
