So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
