The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
