oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
