Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
