Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
