I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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