they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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