I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
