went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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