Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
