I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
