Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
