all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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