I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
