I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
