i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
