I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
