I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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