He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
