Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
