and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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